I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
