Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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