y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
operation have a gay friend backfired
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
