So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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