Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He felt like a one man threesome
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
