yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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