Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
