Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
