So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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