so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
