I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm sobbing to NWA
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
