In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
