Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
