Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
do nipples grow back?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
