Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
