OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
