what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
