if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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