You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
