I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Randomize
