You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize