So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
