Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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