the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
The air taste purple.
Randomize
