You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
