So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
