i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
