I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
