My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
