The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize