she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He passed out mid-signature
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
