Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Still dying that you shit outside
I think your dad took our porno
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Randomize
