My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
