i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
