I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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