There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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