I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
