Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
