you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
