he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
