Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
