dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
