At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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