If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
