Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
In America we eat man semen.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
