the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
