just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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