I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
