I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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