My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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