So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
