I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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