The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Operation Purity has been aborted
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
