I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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