You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
