i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Randomize
