i would punch a child for taco bell
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
