Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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