he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
This is my gift to your gina
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
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