I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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