i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
