Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
