you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
