everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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