Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
