How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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