Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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