I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
