Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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